Santa vs. Krampus

By: Jim Hodgson / Narrated By: Quintin W Allen

Length: 5 hrs and 8 mins

Silly fun, with whimsical obscenities thrown in—plus AWEsome narration

Dude! If you’re of a delicate nature, and for you the Vulgar MUST stay away from your festive cheer—what on EARTH are you doing pondering a Krampus book?

Oh wait! What’s this you say? Krampus can be profane, Santa mustn’t bellow various obscenities, certainly NOT the F-bomb?

Well, okay, you got me there, cuz here in Santa vs. Krampus, our story starts with hellish minions of Krampus crashing the skylights, attacking the mall Santa, and Santa swings around like a ninja, obliterating them by shooting fire and mayhem from a snow globe… which’ll work only if pointed properly -AND- only if a profanity is shouted at the same time.

Which takes not only the Listener by surprise, but also our good Hero, Daniel is perplexed as well. But when Santa is about to be ambushed from behind, knocking the snow globe away? Things are looking mighty grim UNTIL Daniel scoops it up, shouts a questionable word, and the unholy minion is dashed to smithereens.

So this has a delightful start, as I’m fond of a bit of silly vulgarity, what’s not to love?

Soon we learn that members of a Team that battles Krampus are being wiped out, with one highly placed mall Santa being kidnapped, and things are running amok. Daniel, who runs TOWARDS danger rather than away, talks Santa and the Team outta wiping out his memory of the assault and, it turns out, the whole lot of them have to go on a quest to find Dan’s brother (But I’m adopted! he shrieks).

To go with the oft-times vulgar humor, there are drug lords and meth heads. Assault style weaponry, flying cars, an amiable giant, shootouts, rescues.

And oh yeh—a little bit o’ romance on the side.

This is just silly, silly, violent and touchy fun, and I found myself astounded and delighted by where author Jim Hodgson chose to take this story. The way he fleshed out these characters to make them earnest gadabouts was a welcome surprise. There are twists and turns to go with the humor, and now might I get to what was reeeeeally awesome about this? You know, besides rip-roarin’ writing?

Quintin W. Allen’s narration. This was a rollicking ride, and his pacing was impeccable. Further, while he appears to be British (Given his accent for the main narrative), Daniel is most unabashedly American, and the rest of the Team would be Black, would be some kind of Germanic or Slavic, would be Down Home Southern. And my gosh, not only done well, but considering the breakneck speed of the unfolding plot, the back and forth discussions? Good cow and golly gosh, he nailed it all without a single slip of accents as the characters twitched about or howled in agonized battle. Never heard of Allen, but he is sooo on my list of To Be Bought(s).

December ain’t just Santa and Christmas, y’all. There’s Krampus to consider.

And this?

This is just plain ol’ fun…!

Amazon