Krampus Comes to Town

By: Jeff Chapman / Narrated By: John Dunleavy

Length: 2 hrs and 57 mins

The Charm is ALWAYS in the bloodbath; this is Jeff Chapman, after all! BTW? You’ll root for the duck!

The thing is? Well… that cover art. Yeh yeh yeh it shrieks KRAMPUS -but- we mustn’t cause anyone to soil their underwear in fright, ya know?

And so cover art dealt with, let’s get on to see what fresh bloodbath one o’ Audiobook Accomplice’s fave authors has to offer for our humble Krampusnacht festival of 2023.

Goodhearted siblings Hans and Helga are trying to pull a very stuck sleigh of necessities home. On top? Christmas gifts they’ve scrimped and scraped for. Finally? Victory!

But it’s exceeeedingly short lived. School/Village Bully Johan is around and simple taunting turns into an outright attack. AND theft of Christmas gifts. He’ll give them back, he promises the pair but they must swear to assist him in an effort he’ll be undertaking in the near future. They haven’t a choice, and so they agree.

Then Krampus Comes to Town shows Hans being shamed for not quite measuring up, and it shows Johan’s life, one of strife and misery, and of trying to stay away from his perpetually drunk dad’s hitting arm (Thereby illustrating that the Villain is ALWAYS the Hero of his own story). Johan has a tough tough life but Jiminy H. Freaking Cricket, must he be so dastardly mean?

Yesssss, he must.

Then we get Krampus reading a letter he’s received wherein he’s allowed to visit the village of Dresden this year: There’s a truly Truly TRULY blackhearted child he’s allowed to take for his Crunchings and Munchings this year.

And doesn’t Johan know it.

As with the two other Krampus offerings this year, narrator John Dunleavy is new to me. At first I was a trifle, just a trifle, unsure as to whether he could carry the tale, but he does indeed. Kinda too much every now and again as dude! he enunciates Every. Single. Word with verve and great gusto. Still, any time a narrator can make me feel a duck’s sheer terror? Well, Bravo, sir; BRAVO! I’ve never been so relieved for an In The Knick Of Time rescue!

That said? This is typical Jeff Chapman story crafting: Do NOT come to love the characters as, with Chapman, no holds are barred, and there’s no such thing as a Sacred Cow (But how about a Sacred Duck…?! …hmm…). Hats off to making me blink back an embarrassed tear or two at the end when Johan’s ploy, well, I’ll leave it to you to discover what kinda ending Chapman works up for the festivities.

Not quite 3-hours of enjoyable mayhem and dastardly delights, and for gosh sake, I had to listen at x1.2 speed instead o’ my much-preferred x1.5. I just didn’t wanna miss anything, and narrator Dunleavy’s accent made for a fine performance whereby a higher speed coulda caused me to miss out on something.

No! Not to be borne! A slower speed it IS!

Dudes, it’s time for Krampusnacht! Have you been good this year…?

Or shall it be into Krampus’s sack for you?

I KNOW!!! I’m worried too as some o’ my reviews have been less than kind this year… :)

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