Jacob Marley's Christmas Carol
Written and Narrated By: Tom Mula
Length: 1 hr and 57 mins
Awesome! Just AWEsome!
I wasn’t looking for much, just short Christmas Listens that could be listened to all in an Eve. I’ve had Jacob Marley’s Christmas Carol in my Library for quite some time, but I’ve been sooooo smitten (Since 2013) with Jacob T. Marley that I’ve never had much desire to revisit the old coot. Plus, I admit that I did indeed tryyyyy listening to this once and… I fell asleep. Like, imMEDiately. Cuz it starts off with the whole “dead as a doornail” thing, and Dickens already told us the old coot was dead. And he did it in his inimitable Charles Dickens way. So? >yaaaaawn<
But no, really. We neeeed good and wonderful Listens this year as 2020 has been, well, CHAllening is a nice word for it.
So I started in again, and right away I was all: Uh-oh cuz author Tom Mula narrates this himself, and he starts the audiobook off with sloooow and ponderous tones. I totally jacked my listening speed up from x1.1 to x1.6. And I started to worry about an author performing his own work.
But then the story started, and Marley (No “T” in this, rather Marley’s middle name is Quimby) winds up, not in Hell, where he’s kinda sorta assuming he’ll be, but wandering into a verrrrry cluttered office. Right away he’s sneering and provocative to the stout little guy who starts reading Marley’s “papers/contract”. And uh-oh again, as it would appear that Marley has maaaany debits and inscrutably tiiiiiiny credits achieved over his lifetime. Immediately chains and locks assail the curmudgeon, and he’s cast away (And it was right about here that I delightedly slowed my listening speed down to x1.2!).
Soon a Bogle, an evil(ish) sprite who looks just like him, nestles by him and starts showing the ropes of this hoRIFfic place Marley has been jettisoned to, where spirits are enslaved to whatever they worshipped during their lives (An avaricious woman/spirit who valued and coveted jewels during her life has gems sprouting from her skin). Marley can’t abide any of this and so he asks for a Transfer. And to be granted one, he has to do ooooone thing, and ooooone thing only: Save Scrooge’s soul… which totally disgusts Marley as he KNOWS that as bad as he himself was, oh dear heavens, Scrooge is sooo much worse.
With encouragement from the Bogle, however, he gives it a go. And the rest, we all know. Except for one stumbling block thrown in whereby Marley remembers his final days, and it turns out that Scrooge had majorly screwed Marley over and then sneered at him as he lay ‘pon his deathbed, gasping his last.
Now all this would still make only a >Meh< kinda story. But that’s where Mula’s narration, his writing kicks in. Cuz oh my dear Accomplice: This is one JOYous ride with truly hilarious twists and turns. And Mula (Who’s spent some time playing Scrooge in the theater early on) turns on his acting chops and turns in a fabulous and feeeearless performance. Yeh yeh yeh, there’s quite a bit going on in this audio production, complete with sound effects and background music, but if there’s screaming and bellowing going on in the story? Mula is screaming and bellowing his head off. Sneering? Weeping? Cackling? All Hell breaking loose as everything hits the fan over and over again in a MOST dramatic fashion?
Mula is doing this, and it sounds like he’s enjoying himself oh so verily. Verrrrry fun!
This is TOTally worth the pittance o’ time you’ll be investing. Oh what I needed right about now.
Nope, nobody here for Christmas. Nope, ain’t going anywhere for Christmas. But, as it would turn out, Christmas came to my heart with this little story. Such warmth, such laughter!
And what’s this? Even a tear or two?
Yesssss!
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