Together for Christmas
By: Carol Rivers / Narrated By: Helen Dickens
Length: 11 hrs and 35 mins
I thiiiiink it was sweet and all that, at least what I didn’t sleep through…
Oh gosh, I’ve done it again—I’ve gotten an audiobook based on the Publisher’s Summary… what is WRONG with me?! Could it be that I was just plain suckered in by the “Christmas” in the title, the WWI in the Summary? The artwork of a WWI young woman Nurse on the cover?
Dunno, and I didn’t exaaaaactly shoot m’self in the foot as I got SUCH decent sleep in the THREEEE days it took me to Listen to Together for Christmas.
So there’s that… HO HO HO
Right off the bat, the writing by author Carol Rivers is iffy as she does that haaated thing (To fellow writers at least, but probably to others with even but a smidgen of knowledge of the history of the period) which is called “As You Know, Mary”. This is where the author chooses to disclose vast amounts of information via conversation. In this case, it’s what led up to WWI, all the honest to gosh truth of what was happening in Europe at the time. I know I know I know, WWI is not my forte, but I dooo at least know how it started, so having our two female protagonists chatting about History was, well, immediately annoying.
Second annoying thing was main heroine Flora being a judgmental wet noodle who counsels her bestie Hilda to be Happy With Her Lot as a drudge maid living in an ice cold attic instead of going for a bit more dash in her life. At first, I was thinking that this was going to be part of Flora’s character arc, where she discovers that she don’t know squat about what other people are going through, but Nay: She’s forever shivering in horror with a perpetual: Oh noooo, Hilda! Don’t say that! -and- Oh noooo, Will (The young man who makes up the third of their little trio of a family from their Orphanage)! Don’t DO that!
SUREly, throughout the near 12-hours of this story, she’ll find that Life is unpredictable, she’ll find she’s human and flawed, she’ll, in short, shut her danged yap and stop condemning others or telling them what to do.
Alas, she does not. The entire plot is predictable from the get-go with bestie Hilda taking on a job that’ll prove to be too much work (She reeeeally shoulda stayed in that cold attic!), and she’ll make choices that Flora TOLD her NOT to make, and she’ll find herself in beYONd dire straits. Actually, that longing for something more than just drudgery in her life will have her at the mercy of The. Most. Nefarious Sociopath of All Times! that one can imagine. So thanks, Rivers, for writing the obvious and for warning us all to Listen to Flora In The First Place…
Will? Oh so disgruntled with being a drudge of a baker, and he’d like a bit o’ excitement, and so he joins up with the British Expeditionary Forces. Okay, we aaaaallll know how war turns out for our young men and women who seek excitement and adventure in war: War Sucks. So Will gets his comeuppance for going against Flora’s Oh Nooooo! in some pretty dire ways.
There are precious few wartime struggles here, Flora’s comfy cozy and well-loved. There’s a single zeppelin attack that petrifies her and has her instantly knowing exACTly what the troops who find themselves helpless in gas attacks or being shelled in the trenches are going through. There ARE a few Christmases that happen during the War, but they’re written to showcase just how warm and giving Flora is, and her inclusion in gatherings continue to show how those who live the Straight and Narrow Path of Righteousness and who make nary any of those Ditzy/All Too-Human Choices are rewarded with Love Extraordinaire and desperately rare poultry and fresh vegetables for Christmas dinners.
Now, I’ve no other Helen Dickens’s narrations in m’ Library, so this is my first experience with her… and I’m fairly certain no other narrator coulda made me wanna throttle Flora soooo sooooon in the Listening experience. Dickens makes aaaallll those choices by author Rivers grate most mightily on the nerves. Hilda and Will musta been so truly and completely lonely at the Orphanage to seek her and her constant judgments out, to embrace her as Family Forever ‘n’ EVER. -But- for our evil sociopath, Dickens performs him with just the right amount of sneer, nay: Excessive amounts of sneer, lest we forget just how truly deplorable his actions are. I mean, violating Hilda rePEATedly and then sending her off to run pellmell through the woods so that he might Hunt Her from his horse as his favorite sport? Oooooh! Rivers going over the top with the writing choices were NOT enough; we need Dickens to pour on the evil Evil EVIL!
So there’s that as well.
Now lemme just get to the ending, tho I’ll spare you Spoilers. I shall just leave ya with: My eyes woulda rolled back into m’ head… but alas, they could not.
Because, you see:
They were shut fast in sleep. The sleep of the dead.
The sleep of the bored silly.
HO HO HO
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