Thomas Jefferson and the Tripoli Pirates: The Forgotten War That Changed American History
By: Brian Kilmeade, Don Yaeger / Narrated By: Brian Kilmeade
Length: 4 hrs and 52 mins
Uh-oh… one eye firmly on History, the other? Oh ouch… total Squid’s Eye, and I can’t help it…
Here it is.
I listen to my weekly audiobooks, and it involves certain parts of m’ brain. Then I waaait, and I write aaallll m’ reviews, cuz dude! thinking, writing, forming opinions, all involves suuuuch completely different parts. I can’t just Listen, write the review, get onto Listening to another audiobook, write, etc. I just don’t work that way. And so, at times, I have to go back and give a quick skim to a story to kinda refresh and re-form impressions. Go from there.
And so it was with Thomas Jefferson and the Tripoli Pirates. I kneeeew what I’d thought, but rather forgot various aspects of it.
So you want the first impression wherein I found the History compelling and rather exciting, despite atROcious narration?
We begin with Thomas Jefferson off to Paris and suddenly wanting a little daughter he’d left behind to come join him. Despite her complete refuuuusal to come, he forges onwards with plans. The sticking point? Just recently pirates from the Barbary coast have taken command of some American vessels, and their crews have now been enslaved. How, oh how can he find a way to get his daughter across pirate-teeming waters safely?
Then authors Brian Kilmeade and Don Yaeger begin with the various methods the newly formed America try to make nice with the four countries who are holding the Americans for ransom. Diplomacy does NOT work, coffers are kinda sorta bare, and the nascent country no longer has a Navy. The book then goes on to chronicle aaaallll the different opinions politicians in power have, the quibbling and bickering, the appeasement, etc.
It’s not until Jefferson wins a highly contentious race for the Presidency that he steps up to the plate and decides to meet aggression with aggression, haggling with Congress about doing so, scraping together funds to build ships of war for a new Navy.
Things get mighty exciting as I do sooo love a good Military History, and there are heroes galore, and great and brave feats. Sneaking onto a captured vessel to destroy it? Oh my yesss, it was AWEsomely done, and I was really quite on the edge of my seat. And when all was said and done, I’d thought it was a solid 4-star listen despite that, truly! dePLORable narration.
Then I hit the glowing reviews, saw that sooo many of them were like: Ya gotta meet Muslims with massive firepower; it’s all they understand -and- This is how we got to 9/11 -and- sooo many inflammatory things like that. Which is where the second Listen, the refresher came in.
Now, even from the first Listen I’d felt one of my eyes going all Squid-like: After all, the American crews -oh gasp!- were enslaved, and listened to the way the Muslims treated them. -Oh GASP- I mean, was the newly formed America NOT oh, I dunno, like, maaaaybe, kinda sorta, like, oh, p’raps BIG TIME ENSLAVING THOUSANDS UPON THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE?! And treating them worse than the, BAD, Muslims who at least gave a day off?
Eye TOTALLY all Squiddly-like. I couldn’t help it.
I happen to live in a state where the Squatters wound up taking over, and schools are specifically cautioned to teach in such and such way lest dire consequences be faced. It’s kinda sorta something that twists m’ gut.
Soooo…
There’s THAT…
Now onto narration, if you’re still with me. Oh OUCH! Brian Kilmeade fancies himself a notable Orator, and the results are Ear Splitting. EVERYthing is said at breakneck speed, with weird emphases on odd words, pauses in all the wrong places, truly difficult to listen along. Further, his tone of voice makes him somewhat THAT guy you had in Junior High, the History Geek who was soooo teacher’s pet, standing up and reading from the book, shouting enthusiastically cuz he’s just thiiiis close to wetting his pants with excitement. You know, the guy you were PRAYING would just SHUT. UP. But who, alas, did NOT. Kilmeade as narrator went beyond m’ usual longing for an Ice Pick for m’ ears, m’ Go-To for apPALling narration; he had me wishing for a firearm here in m’ Open Carry Permit-less state. I mean…
I s’pose that’s going a bit far, but seriously! THAT guy in Junior High included in the package of Authors Going THERE, topped with the goshawful reviews that were all, like, Hang ‘Em High NOW?
Riveting anecdotes, yes. A WONderful explanation of how the Marines’ Song came to have the bit about Tripoli? Yessss, indeed YES!
That our little Country was lily-white clean? That the authors perpetuate the notion that all that is Foreign is not just bad but flat out DANGEROUS to the security of this Christian Nation? Oh YIKES, and?
Dadblast it! The Squid’s Eye wins…
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