The True Blue Scouts of Sugar Man Swamp
By: Kathi Appelt / Narrated By: Lyle Lovett
Length: 5 hrs and 47 mins
Nosotros somos paisanos sayeth the Sugar Man
Come for the AWEsome cover, stay for Lyle Lovett howling to the moon, wind it all up with the Feral Hog Toss from the Sugar Man Swamp.
Bingo and J’miah are two of the newest Official Sugar Man Swamp Scouts, wet behind the ears (Not to mention with Bingo’s tuft betweeeen the ears), and missing Little Momma and Daddy-O, having bid them good-bye to take their places in the Scout Center, a 1949 DeSoto. They’re charged with keeping up with Intelligence and, should chaos threaten, with waking up the Sugar Man, he who’s been asleep for 60 some-odd years.
And oh yeah? They’ve gotta be True Blue, keeping each other safe, watching each other’s back.
Whilst on their first mission, Bingo’s paws start itching: Climb Climb Climb, and so he scurries (I see I’m only now mentioning? They’re both raccoooooons, little stripe-y fellows with glorious bandit masks) waaaaay up a tall tree, discovering a red twinkling star he names Blinkle. This star will come in handy later on when both raccoons desperately need a star to wish upon. For you see, something ominous is happening in the Sugar Man Swamp. There’s a Rumble Rumble Rumble, and a lightning strike stirs up the DeSoto’s electrical system wherein the Voice relays the message: Feral Hogs are coming to the Sugar Man canebrakes. NOT good.
Knowing they themselves don’t stand a chance against the wilding Feral Hogs, Bingo and J’miah are off to find the Sugar Man, he who is composed of part of every single living swamp creature, resembles a hairy bear, and has hands large as palmetto ferns and feet big as small boats. One problem? Ya doooooon’t wanna wake him up without cane sugar as then said Sugar Man will wake up in a FOUL mood. And the Sugar Man’s “Familiar,” a hissing zip zip zap snake tells the two, they’re plum outta sugar cane.
Off the duo go to the canebrakes, only to find the place is craaaawling with hissing, slithering, BITING snakes. The two must find SOME form of sweetness somewhere!
Which brings us to young Chap Brayburn, man of the family now that Grandpa Audie has gone to Meet His Maker. Chap knows he and his Mom need “A Boatload of Cash” to stay in their home/little restaurant now that the vile despicable landlord wants MONEY. Worse? Despicable landlord wants to rip up the swamp to build an arena for Gator Wrestling, rip up the swamp to pave over for parking. Doesn’t matter that his waaaaay back ancestor signed a deal with the Sugar Man (In BLOOD, no less!), dollar signs are in his eyes.
What’s Chap to do? And what’s he gonna do now that raccooooons have broken into the kitchen, have stolen Sugar Pies? And how come nobody is listening to Sweetums the cat who’s TRYING to warn the family about Rumble Rumble Rumble?!
The True Blue Scouts of Sugar Man Swamp is comPLETEly charming, and whereas readers dinged it for being too folksy and, thus, hard to follow, here with Lyle Lovett narrating, it’s soooo easy on the ears (Yay, audiobooks!), sooo engaging. Lovett does the hisses and zip zip zap of rattlesnakes as they speak, threaten, or save the day. He does the growling stomachs of brave and faithful raccoons. He does the grumbling and grousing of wild Feral Hogs as they traverse East Texas to make their way to the canebrakes so that they might gorge and destroy. And he does a charmer of a young boy who’s DESperately trying to be the Man of the House even tho’ he’s but a boy: He WILL drink the bitter brew of Mom and Grandpa Audie’s addiction: Coffee as he knows: It’ll put hair on his chest.
What’s a boy to do now that he must be a Man and save not only his home but the entire Sugar Man Swamp? What are young Scouts supposed to do when maaaaaybe they’ve eaten pretty much every single pilfered Sugar Pie, save one, that were supposed to ensure the Sugar Man woke with a smile?
And what am I s’posed to do now that less than 6 hours of WONderful story are over?
Chockfull of charming sentence fragments, bits o’ alliteration, short chapters that have the listener whip whip whipping from one viewpoint to the next, this was such a sweet Listen. Animals doing their best, boys drinking from Grandpa’s favorite Blue Heron coffee mug (And wishing Grandpa could finish Meeting His Maker and come back with the Polaroids of the extinct Ivory-billed Woodpecker, aaaand a pic o’ The Sugar Man!), and a Sugar Man who makes friends with humans he KNOWS are friends, come from the same soil.
This was so glorious that, now that I’m done, I’m off to see what-all else author Kathi Appelt has out there, and I’m off to see what-all else Lyle Lovett has as far as narration goes. As for Lovett, when the DJ howls his signature sign-off, Rodie woke up and bristled, and Bitty ran under the bed, meowing her discontent.
Just as well they didn’t hear the hissing zip zip zap, as that woulda had them quaking in their furry pantaloons…
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