The Bride Test
By: Helen Hoang / Narrated By: Emily Woo Zeller
Length: 10 hrs
Oh, the challenges of listening to Romances—even if I DID find it utterly charming
Perhaps you don't know me, and I should introduce myself:
Hi, I'm Gillian, and I'm a prude...
There; now do you remember me from some of my Romance audiobook reviews; like do you remember my review of say, Band Sinister by KJ Charles? Do you remember me mentioning how graphic things got and how my toes curled?
Which is not to say I didn't wind up really liking the clever writing in that book, and which is not to say that I didn't enjoy The Bride Test by Helen Hoang. Which is ALSO not to say that this latter book is filled with the graphic debauchery of the former. Noooo, they're two enTIREly different types of toe-curling, but my toes did indeed curl for both of them.
Cuz see, Esme Tran is fresh off the plane from Vietnam, where she worked scrubbing toilets and housekeeping, where she was plucked from a Vietnamese bathroom by our Hero's mom who's intent on finding a suitable bride for her very flawed son. Khai Diep (Our Hero), we're told, is Autistic, and he's very cut off from his feelings. He has what has become a literature stereotype of a fondness for order, a disgust of things out of place, and he's cut off from his emotions. Khai tells himself he can never feel love, so what's the use of dating and setting someone's hopes up? So what's all this crud about his mom jetting a young woman to him, to stay with him, in his house, using his things, all in the desperate belief that someHOW he'll wind up caring enough to marry Esme at the end of the summer?
Esme's plan, via her mom's advice, is to seduce him so that she might find herself married to a decent man, living in the USA, and with a possible future for herself and her daughter. And oh yeah, she has a daughter, which is kinda "Mum's the word"-ish.
This whole seduction thing means she's after him from the get-go, but author Hoang has Khai "feeling" lusty things about Esme right back at her. As his walls begin to crumble, there's a whole LOT of touching, and stroking, and later there's a whole lot of sex going on (Toes curling... right... NOW!).
Oh yessssss, I had to lower the volume on my phone cuz I was a trifle sheepish at all the moaning and groaning coming from it whenever my husband walked into the room. It's simply not the thing...
So I disliked the audiobook, right?
Heck no, I really really liked it, tho' I do wonder about whether or not it's an accurate depiction of someone truly on the spectrum. Not to dump any spoilers, but at the end, it seeeeems like there's a reeeeason for Khai's emotional inaccessibility, and I'm not sure that that's true in real life. Not that people on the spectrum can't have neat-o relationships, but I kinda sorta felt that the end was much more emotionally satisfying to all the characters involved, with very little gut-checks necessary due to unmet emotional expectations.
But that's a total quibble, so I'll shut up about that, shall I? Because the story is such a charmer, and Esme in particular is so very delightful; she's resilient, she's hopeful, she's (For the most part) realistic, and she has pluck and dignity... even if she does come across as a girl just in the country. I loved how there was a side snipe-hunt type of search for a father she's never known, and even though she does keep her daughter a secret for so long, I never felt she was unloving -OR- stupid (Which is a major writing feat!).
As an audiobook, The Bride Test is stellar because it has the awesome Emily Woo Zeller as narrator. She doesn't do as well in this book as she did in American Panda, and she seems to be, review-wise, either a love her/hate her kinda gal, but I thought she did Esme and everyone, except for Khai, sooo blissfully well (Her voice for Khai got a little low and throaty). I know mothers-in-law are supposed to be dreaded and dreadful creatures but, really, I was head over heels for Khai's mom, and that's because Zeller's narration made author Hoang's words chockfull of sensitivity, patience, and affection--truly a moving depiction of a mother who wants so much for her Lone(ly) Wolf of a son.
Yup, let's just get past that I admitted that I squirmed MOST self-consciously through the assorted foreplay and sex scenes, and let's finish with that I liked the story very, very much. 'Twas not anywhere neeear as graphic as other Romances I've listened to, and what desperately wonderful characters.
Still, from the reviews of Hoang's other audiobook out, it looks like THAT one has a bit moooore of the same, so I think I'm just a tad too shy to say I'll be listening to and reviewing that one anytime soon.
Like I said: Hi, I'm Gillian... and I'm a prude...
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