The Adventure of the Peculiar Protocols: Adapted from the Journals of John H. Watson, M.D.
By: Nicholas Meyer / Narrated By: David Robb, Nicholas Meyer
Length: 8 hrs and 1 min
Not much fun, but enlightening and… disturbing…
Our grand new adventure for this All Things Sherlock Holmes audiobook is of the verrrry American author Nicholas Meyer announcing that Gasp! such history is being made: The discovery of a very detailed diary of THE Dr. John Watson in which a brand new tale of derring-do is chronicled.
Holmes and Watson have been corralled by Mycroft Holmes to see what can be assessed from the decomposing flesh of a dead young woman. It’s horrible, it’s wretched, it’s a ghastly murder. And apparently the woman was an agent for the government where Mycroft is a big wig, and he knows she was involved in a truly important case. Mycroft looks a tad distraught but then bucks right up and avers that what she was engaged in doing was of such import that it was worth her life, worth leaving her child motherless.
Whazzis? Sherlock cries: Her closed and decomposing fist has a bit of paper in it? ‘Twould appear that, even in her dying moments, the woman had the wherewithal and determination to keep this incredibly salient bit of information.
The paper describes a meeting of THE Jewish elite, and it purports that there is a nefarious plan to take over the world.
And so the “Protocols of the Elders of Zion” have been discovered (These are true documents that surface periodically that are patently fictitious but which are used to spread overt anti-Semitism and which incite violent acts against Jews).
At first Holmes and Watson are chasing down these clues, but then they’re on the hunt for the origins of the documents. Author Meyer inserts historical figures of note and fleshes them out to where they become integral parts of The Adventure of the Peculiar Protocols, and one even becomes a femme fatale who captures Sherlock’s attention (I KNOW! And by this point, I’d done The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes by Sir A.C. Doyle, and I’m welllll aware that, while not misogynistic entirely? Dude, Sherlock didn’t trust the feminine wiles of women, their depth… except for Irene Adler). Watson has to take leave of his wife, things are dicey, and things get even dicier once the trio of Holmes, Watson, F. Fatale, hop on board The Orient Express and jaunt into Russia.
Ya know, I’ve said it repeatedly by this point: I ain’t no Sherlockian except for the variations so, like, what do I know about the original S. Holmes and Doyle’s intent? But seriously? This particular adventure is sooo NOT about Sherlock, and it’s mostly about John Watson. Which is fine, don’t get me wrong as what’s not to love about him? That said? Where’s Sherlock? Where are his brilliant powers of observation, his deductions?
I s’pose that since it’s Watson’s diary, it HAS to be more subjective than with other tales, but gosh! Holmes was largely absent, or he was making inCREDibly weird oversights, -or- the Intellectual Detective was outta control and acting solely based upon overwhelming emotion. Now, I ask you: Is thaaaat Sherlock? Poor Watson was bearing the weight o’ the world ‘pon his shoulders while Holmes was, ostensibly, Doing The Nasty or just off wearing a disguise for no apparent reason.
Okay, let’s get onto the narration. David Robb was awesome, stellar, spectacular… and theeeen… author Meyer butts in with his unabashedly-American-English-quips to interject footnotes. At first, I haaated this, found it reeeally jarring, and gosh how I loathed how it interrupted the already somewhat slow pacing. But then Meyer kinda grew on me, especially deeper within the story when Holmes may have/may not have had congress with the F. Fatale. Sooo, okay, I guess, as it was highly amusing to hear him lament in a MOST frustrated fashion that dang it! there are pages missing from The Diary right when things were getting good. Other than those li’l whazzis things, Robb sooo owned his performance!
It’s just that? Let’s face it: Watson is awesome, but we’re all coming for the smooth and urbane and clever Sherlock. And yikes! we are sooo not coming to have Watson’s marriage fleshed out, it-by-bit-by-bitty-bit, over and over, until I really did not care that things got so good between the two of them that he was missing her by Russian journey’s end.
Aaaallll that said? Yup, am kinda sorta nixing this spin on Holmes, but the history is brilliant, and I’m trying not to feel bad for knowing nothing about the Protocols prior to this. Fascinating, enraging, exasperating? are too kind as far as words go.
That they’re STILL being bandied about reminds us that Q-Anon tain’t the only hate-spewing conspiracy theory out there…
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