My Seven Black Fathers: A Young Activist's Memoir of Race, Family, and the Mentors Who Made Him Whole
Written and Narrated By: Will Jawando
Length: 7 hrs and 35 mins
A moving testament to how our kids need aaaaallll of us
Oh my good golly gosh…!
I was NOT expecting for the third most popular review of My Seven Black Fathers to be one sooo scathing about Black fathers not stepping up to the plate, that two-parent homes are the ONLY way for children to grow up well-rounded and stable and healthy and happy. It was a quiet screeeeech about Blacks having only themselves to blame, even tho’ it didn’t come right out and screeeech it. Oh jeez.
Will Jawando does a grand job of showing just how many of us it takes for our children to do well. He grew up initially in that fabled two-parent home, but his father, a Nigerian immigrant, was somewhat unavailable, depressed that life in America was NOT the place where dreams come true if you do the hard work, if you study and learn and obtain skills. It’s the place, rather, where an accent is derided, the color of your skin’ll hold you back, that redlining makes decent housing impossible to find.
Uhm, yeh, you freakin’ dork-patoot reviewer, whazza? Jawando would’ve done best if his father and mother didn’t divorce? That having depression modeled would’ve inspired him to grow up to be the father, husband, civic leader he is today? I beg to differ. But enough of me getting all ticked off at people I GREATLY disagree with.
Covid-19 and school closures really brought to life what parenting is today: The economy needs both parents out and working, school is basically babysitting seeing as they’re underfunded by politicians who expect teachers to be moms and dads and teachers of social skills and role models and and and. Wait, I’m back to being all peeved. Okay, stepping off m’ soapbox and onto:
The teachers who went beYONd limited means and without a doubt provided Jawando with powerful role models and inspirations. School is nothing but a place for him to be an outcast as a child, the only kid with a name like Yemi (Nigerian), or the only kid in yet another school with skin like his. But to go into class and see a Black man, a man with skin just like his, teaching a class? Mind blowing and inspirational! Just his presence is enough for Jawando to sit up and take notice, to stand taller.
Add to that a stepfather who came into their lives and who dealt with his fears of abandonment and rejection (Biological Dad Inspired), who loved him as his own and modeled what a strong Black man can be, how to love. Jay Fletcher? Openly gay man who showed him how to accept himself and who taught him to ask questions right before he crammed McDonald’s cheeseburgers and fries down his gullet: Jawando learns that his trips to McDonald’s happened after schooldays filled with loneliness. His thought? I just wanted a friend. Soon Jawando is learning about healthy eating, learning how to move his body to develop power and grace.
My favorite of Jawando’s role models was the coach and gospel choir director Mr. Holmes. It’s my favorite because young Will didn’t really find his way with God and a sense of Spirit until the hot chick next door turned him on to Church. Entry into the choir opened a door with Mr. Holmes who supported Jawando as he made the transition into young manhood, even into college. What do you want from your life? Holmes asks Will. To play basketball at a top-tier college, Will responds. But after that, Holmes presses. And so the world opens up to Jawando, a life sans basketball and p’raps dedicated to service. When basketball dreams are crushed, it’s Holmes with the assist, seeing a young man through shattered dreams with stories of how he himself reframed what might’ve been a defeat and morphed it into a perfectly timed Opportunity.
Sometimes it’s not the wisest choice when an author chooses to narrate his own work, but it’s obvious that Jawando’s years in public life and in service have made him a good speaker. Add to that, things aren’t all positivity and light, especially when it comes to the complicated relationship he had with his own father, the man who failed him and judged him many a time. Forgiveness comes, layer by slow and hard-won layer, unpeeled through shared experiences, a trip to Nigeria where Will can see the man that his father was Before Shattered Dreams in America, a loving and amiable man. But, as with all of Life, mortality catches up with his dad as it does/will with us all, and now Will can look back on the relationship with: I Forgive, I Accept, I Did The Best I Could, I Was THERE In The End.
I coulda done without some o’ the Obama-fawning, but truly, Obama WAS indeed an inspiration for many who just had never seen Black skin in such high Office. That the two played basketball together? Cool. That Obama asked to meet Will’s infant daughter? Awesome. That early on, whenst Will was seeking a position with Obama and blathered on about the two having Black African fathers, moms from Kansas, wives named Michelle? Okay, that’s kinda sorta cringeworthy and I felt embarrassed for him, but I had to laugh. Who does NOT embarrass themselves when meeting someone they’ve fashioned a pedestal for (I shan’t share aaaaany of m’ own cringeworthy blatherings cuz, seriously: AWFUL!!!)?
Women need a variety of women to look up to, to shape them, prepare them, inspire them. And men? Jeez, no offense, but y’all can be exHAUSting, so it reeeeally takes a huuuuge variety of other men to lead the way. Jawando has offered a heartfelt treatise and request for men to step up to the plate, to be there for boys and young men.
To shape the future, to shine the light, to be the Men we know they Can Be, indeed Are.
Awesome…!
As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.