My Father Left Me Ireland: An American Son's Search for Home
Written and Narrated By: Michael Brendan Dougherty
Length: 3 hrs and 45 mins
At less than 4 hours? Good gosh, the Publisher’s Summary tells ya all ya need to know
Which sounds like I didn’t like My Father Left Me Ireland, huh? as I’m alREAdy starting the review with a rant.
But it’s like this, see: I didn’t read the Publisher’s Summary until I was choosing what all audiobooks to do for 2021’s St. Paddy’s Day (I just saw “Ireland” on a Kobo sale, and BAM! I snapped it up!). Some books are huuuuuge and come with a 2-line Summary, but some books are tiiiiiny and, like this one, they have MONstrously large Summaries.
Which is why I’m pointing you to the P.S. to see what this is about.
Wait, whazza? You DON’T wanna click over and expect meeee to summarize? Heavy sigh, well, if I must:
Michael Brendan Dougherty was raised by a single mom, an Irish-American who loved all things Irish, songs, the language, the myths, the history. And oh yeah, a living, breathing Irish man too. But he’s around only long enough to knock her up before hotfooting it back to Ireland. For the next eeeeeons, Michael sees him only every now and again, and it’s enough to knock the kid over, have him wallowing in sorrow, until he forgets all about it, until the next time. It doesn’t help that Mom badmouths dearest Dad, which keeps the kid acutely aware of the lack of his father in his life.
As Michael grows up, he broods and gives his father the silent treatment, especially after his father starts a new family, with new children. So Michael pretty much is a man who’s shunned his background and who’s disavowed his mother’s ways, her love of Ireland. He spends much, MUCH time telling us just how kitsch the concept of Ireland has gotten, everything being boiled down into a lump of wearing green one day of the year and of swilling watery American Guinness.
Then he and his wife find they’re about to become parents. Suddenly Michael WANTS to know about Ireland, and he reaches out to a father who’s been waiting patiently on the sidelines. At first, this extension is a painful listen as this is a relationship burdened with oh SUCH baggage. And Michael makes many a mistake as he discovers that he and dear Da are not on the same wavelength, are two entirely different entities, so very foreign to each other. But Michael is determined, and he shows a good deal of self-awareness as he comes to terms with how very far he’s pushed his father away, has pushed his Irish heritage away. Soon, he’s noticing the difference between Irish brews and lame American attempts.
And soon, he’s discovering a sense of family as he opens up and meets his (Half) siblings.
This is an okay listen, marred only by how verrrrry looooong some of his tangents go on for, how verrrrry deeeeply he dives into certain subjects. You wanna spend eons listening to the construction of the Irish language, to how many people speak it today? You wanna hear about how it stacks up against some of the languages of Native American tribes as far as fluency goes? Here you go. We’re talking MAJOR trip down a rabbit hole. It’s at its best when he’s seeing his father as a person and not just as an absent dad, how loving the man was/is, how patiently he waited to be acknowledged by a son whom he loved very much. When he hears all the Other Sides to the Stories: Dad showed up one day at school, visited briefly, then went away, back to Ireland, leaving Michael sobbing? Maybe it was a long-planned for trip, every penny saved so Dad could make the passage, an hour plotted for where Mom couldn't interrupt, couldn’t tell him to leave. Maybe Dad cried after that visit too.
Dougherty does the narration honors for this as well, and he doesn’t make a mess of it. It’s always nice when an author doesn’t butcher his own work. He reads this as tho’ reading a journal to friends, these letters that he’s written to his father (Each essay is actually a truly lengthy letter). His tones are sometimes warm tho’ he did come off as just a tad reserved, enough to where I dozed off a couple of times (Though to be fair? I’d just eaten some reeeeeally sweet Special K Strawberry Crisps, and sugar has a tendency of knocking me out… So maybe it was NOT his performance that did me in…).
All in all, a nice little listen, eSPEcially if you’re dying to listen to how hard it is to learn Irish. Mom gets bashed a bit, but then Michael sees her for the bold and determined woman she was (Cuz she kinda became someone who irritated him and whom he didn’t understand); Dad gets bashed a bit, but then Michael sees him for the kind and dignified man he was, the loving grandfather he’s become; and Michael bashes himself a bit, which is ALWAYS nice as who doesn’t come to like and respect people who are self-aware and who own their shortcomings, mend their ways?
Plus, with aaaaallll of that studying of the language? You KNOW he pronounces the phrases the way they’re supPOSed to be pronounced. Score several for Michael right there!
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