Lady Whilton's Wedding

By: Barbara Metzger / Narrated By: Pippa Rathborne

Length: 6 hrs and 43 mins

A dancing, whimsical farce… with a corpse that gets around!

Okay, so I loooove Barbara Metzger, but I have recently discovered that she’s not riDICulously AWEsome 100% of the time. In the audiobooks that have a photo cover, one soon realizes that Ms. Metzger has a racy side and, seriously, I haaaaate listening to people whose breasts heave with passion and desire. So I got a couple of TOTAL surprises like that when I checked out those books.

It was enough to make me twitchy about listening to this book, Lady Whilton’s Wedding (Seriously, the bosom heaving wasn’t toooo terribly bad, but I’m SUCH a pruuuude!). I needn’t have worried; this book has her trademark wit and is totally devoid of steam heat and wanton abandon.

Daphne Whilton and Lord Graydon Howell betrothed themselves as youngsters, always planning to marry when they grew up. Until, however, they grow up and Daphne realizes that part of “growing up” for Graydon means he’s been playing fast and loose with mistresses and such all. That’s IT for Daphne, and her disgust of Graydon becomes absolute, and she shakes the dust from her London Season from her feet and goes back to the family estate in the country.

Throughout this time, Daphne’s mother, the widowed Lady Whilton, has been bonding with Graydon’s widower of a father. Tho’ their children are at odds, the two of them have developed very fond feelings for each other, and a wedding is to take place. This brings Graydon back to the country for the wedding.

Unfortunately, this also brings the despicable Uncle Albert, heir to the estate, to the country also. He has nefarious and avaricious plans. He’s abominably behaved, vulgar, boorish, and he drinks like a fish. Fortunately, just as he’s in his bed and demanding for booze from a done-in yet still-solicitous Daphne, he kicks the bucket. This is a relief. Until it’s not.

Daphne realizes that if the world discovers the curmudgeonly beast is dead, the yearlong mourning period would cancel the upcoming wedding celebration. And Albert was such a wretch, he’s not worth that. So Daphne says not a word. And later, Graydon discovers the corpse, makes the same realization about the mourning period, and he decides to help out by removing the body and hatching a scheme to transport it to London to be discovered later by the man’s valet.

But they’re not the only ones who run across the corpse and try to help out. And a trio of ne’er do wells, brigands/highwaymen/wannabe thieves extraordinaire enter the story, and all hell breaks loose, esPECially as Daphne’s new suitor is a lawman and, when he’s not coming over to eat them out of house and home, he’s sniffing around for broken laws and scandals. Add a mistress who will NOT be jilted, a row between Lady Whilton and Graydon’s father, the wannabe thieves meeting all sorts of chaos and distress, and you wind up with a delightful farce.

I've gotta admit that I do kinda sorta agree with one other reviewer who was most certainly put out with Graydon as being a romantic Hero. Yes, he’s come to see that his casual womanizing cost him a worthy, worthy woman… but it’s not so much that he ended his womanizing ways. So I s’pose we’re just to believe that by the end, he really, really, really DOES mean it when he promises to be true. Fortunately, Daphne is no dolt, so I like the way she was ready to clobber him at all times, especially when his (Exxxx…?) mistress turns up, sporting expensive jewelry no less.

Pippa Rathborne voices the entire thing mightily well, and it sounds like she’s truly enjoying herself as she narrates all the storylines for us. Hilarious in particular, is the story of the thieves and the misery that constantly befalls them, tho’ they try their hardest to be cut-throat and amoral. Rathborne has such perfect timing in relaying their misery, I had to laugh aloud SEVeral times! I do sooo love the pairing of Rathborne with a witty B. Metzger.

So all in all, a jolly good listen. And the best part? Metzger has a new one… and it doesn’t have a photo for the cover… soooo: No heaving breasts?

I’m totally hoping not!

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