Klawde

Series: Evil Alien Warlord Cat, Book 1

By: Johnny Marciano, Emily Chenoweth / Narrated By: Oliver Wyman, Vikas Adam

Length: 3 hrs and 6 mins

A tale FRAUGHT with eeeeevil… yet soooo aDORable….!!!

Cue Booming and ta-RAH-ing music: Klawde is OBVIOUSLY a feline warlord who comes with his own soundtrack, one which hails the grand presence of an evil mind! Indeed, if you liked that tribute to irrepressibly evil minds, “Pinkie and the Brain”, you’ll love this little gem of an audiobook.

And hush, now we open to the trial of the Lord High Emperor, errr, that is the FORMER Lord High etc etc on the planet of Lyttyrboks. He has schemed his way to the top, and has decimated all who’ve stood in his way. But now the FORMER Lord High Emperor will be banished from the kingdom and sent faaaar away to the most dreaded corner of the universe, the most deplorable planet imaginable: Earth. But before he’s ejected, the FORMER blah blah Emperor blah shouts that he WILL be back, and he WILL have his revenge on General Ffangg.

DING DONG

Here on Earth, young Raj is a fish outta water in the new town of Elba, Oregon, where his family has just moved. Originally from Brooklyn, where he had ooooodles of things to do, here? Nuthin’. And so, after a green FLASH lights up the world, after that DING DONG of a doorbell, he answers it to find the answer to an unasked prayer: A CAT on his doorstep! Can I keep him, he begs his otherwise occupied folks. Dad is onboard, but Mom? She’s a hard sell, but finally caves when she says Raj can keep him… as long as he goes to Camp.

And so we have this tale of Raj in an Apocalypse Camp where the counselor is one Counselor Turkey Vulture who hisses and flaps his wings and who tries to prepare the campers for the upcoming Apocalypse whereby the glaciers will melt, the seas will rise, technology will fail. And to get ready for the Soon to be Rampant CANNIBALISM, Turkey Vulture pits the campers against each other, egging on the bullying that of COURSE Raj, who’s fearful of being on the fringes even at the best of times, experiences. He hunkers down with fellow campers Cedar, Steve (Really named Wolf), and he chooses Rat as his own camp name. Each day is a soooore trial for the trio, and when things continue to go awry? Welllll, Raj/Rat miiiiiight be open to…?

Klawde’s Plan…!

Cuz, see: Klawde has commandeered all the household’s small appliances and has ordered various high-tech devices so that he might build a teleporter to get back to planet Lyttyrboks. Yesss, he WILL get there, and this time? In his bid for total dominion, he’ll have a big ogre of a being by his side: Raj!

That is, until his only loyal minion still on Lyttyrboks, Flooffee-Fyr, tells him something as large as Raj will have all cells and atoms scrambled and sent flying out into the furthest reaches of space (So, you’re saying that’s a Go then? Klawde muses evilly…). And so Raj/Rat is sent back to Camp for Survival Night, where aaaaallll HELL breaks loose like the Coming of the Apocalypse.

Will Klawde, who has shown NOOOO sign of cuddliness or warmth, postpone his planetary domination to save Raj/Rat? Will Raj/Rat find it within himself to stare down the bullying Team Cold-Bloods? Will he be able to survive Survival Night and the increasingly unhinged Counselor Turkey Vulture who stalks the edges looking like a matted swamp monster?

Find out, but along the way, enjoy oh so much, the excellent narration by Oliver Wyman and by Vikas Adam. Both capture the drama Drama DRAMA, and they both project the urgency of their character’s dilemmas. Wyman is NATurally a standout as Klawde, who cogitates and manipulates and who plots vengeance. Nary a warm and coddling word is uttered by the evil warlord, who struggles MIGHtily to say that he’s a good and kind (uhm, evil) warlord to gain Raj’s assistance (He soooo requires Raj’s opposable thumbs!). And Adam as Raj/Rat captures the ever-increasingly shrill notes of panic as Counselor Turkey Vulture descends into madness, dragging down unsuspecting campers with him. Huzzah to this duet of narrators!

Short, not-so-sweet, this is perfect for older youngsters who want a little extra humor in their stories.

But oh my gosh, how you’ll love it too!