Frozen Assets

By: P. G. Wodehouse / Narrated By: Simon Vance

Length: 5 hrs and 35 mins

Jolly decent, but it’s an odd odd ODD day when one has to say: Simon Vance is no Jonathan Cecil…!

I do sooo love P.G. Wodehouse, happen to think his “Blandings Castle” series is hiLARious, and when it came time to pick a book for this week, ‘twas a No-Brainer, I tell you, as I was up for lighter Listening. EsPECially as this standalone novel is narrated by Actor Extraordinaire Simon Vance (He Who Can Do No Wrong…).

Welllll,

it’s like this, see? This is a jolly decent Listen, jam-packed with Wodehouse’s trademark farcical situations (Think: Pantless Men Wheel and Deal to Get Pants), -BUT- there just aren’t as many as I’m used to. Sure sure sure, this work does indeed have more of what Wodehouse does so well: Outta this world characters, a bit o’ romance, a plot that thickens as mishaps and mayhem occur.

It’s just that the chaos isn’t quiiiiiiite as over the top, as in your face, as Wodehouse generally does so well.

Our story opens with Jerry trying to report his lost wallet and coming across a young American woman whom he spent five-days on a ship with. He’s happy to see her; he’s overjoyed to see her; but when she sets him up to be hosted by her fiancé as the keys to his apartment were in his wallet? He’s aghast. Surely this beacon of purest femininity is NOT going to marry that boor. Why, she should marry him instead.

Enter love interest’s boisterous and somewhat pugilistic and definitely missing brother, Jerry’s best friend. He’s just inherited millions upon millions of dollars… IF… he can stay out of trouble and avoid arrest until his 30th birthday. That’s an ENTIRE week of keeping his nose clean.

Add to this the brother of the deceased, a pugnacious gentleman who’ll stop at nothing to get that Will overturned, to lure Edmund Biffen Christopher into mishaps where he couldn’t POSsibly do anything BUT get arrested, and we’ve got ourselves a bit of a jumping time.

Simon Vance does the characters so very well, it’s just that his tones are so staid and urbane, which is usually AWESOME, but here it’s not. Cuz see, men without pants, a drunken Edmund Biffy Biffen Christopher who’s rousing for a fight, an overwrought avaricious Gentleman Got-Rocks who’s always in a temper… at least when he’s not pining away for his Girl Friday of a Secretary… all of that? Well, the narration should be quick and bordering on schizzy. And Mr. Vance does NOT do schizzy. He’s all well-modulated tones and precise diction even when Biffy is slurring his words cuz he’s loaded… yet AGAIN. Now, that’s all I have to say cuz Vance does characters like there’s no tomorrow, each distinct, no vocal juggling. And to cut him some slack, the situations, whilst many and varied, are not exactly fraught and over the top. So there’s not the usual Wodehouse OOOOMPH for a narrator to add to.

So there’s that (And here’s where I shall digress for just a bit and say: There’s no one who can make a person tripping over a cat and falling down a flight of stairs as hiLARious as Jonathan Cecil, thanks “Blandings Castle”!).

Still and all. I canNOT say I was disappointed or that I chose wrong because Wodehouse just always tickles m’ funny bone. When all was said and done, when a lawyer joins the happy throng and sings at the top of his lungs, and he sounds like a “Vulture With Laryngitis”, it’s a tip o’ the hat to Mr. Wodehouse for a nice turned bit of phrase, and to be sure: There are multitudes of little bits like that sprinkled throughout the pellmell rushing into chaotic situations.

Nah, not m’ favorite, but hit the spot well enough.

But ya know what? Gosh, I’m hittin’ Book 3 of “Blandings Castle”, like, posthaste!!!