Enter the Aardvark
By: Jessica Anthony / Narrated By: Matt Amendt
Length: 5 hrs and 39 mins
First Listen? Haaaaated it! Listened again to see exACTly why, and I? Loved it…?
Despicable characters! Misogyny! Scattered plots! Head-hopping! And good golly GOSH, did my mind wander, or what?!
That was what I got when I initially listened to Enter the Aardvark as imMEDiately we’re introduced to the reprehensible Alexander Paine Wilson, a DAStardly Republican office holder who will NOT come out as gay, haaaates all things gay and even reMOTEly Progressive, WISHES he was Ronald Reagan down to adopting THAT ogre’s style of dress, and who juuuuuust ended a short-lived affair with a man… who juuuuust… uhm, killed himself, most likely in despair…
And who juuuuust sent Alexander a humongous stuffed Aardvark (Aardvark capitalized as it becomes a character in its own right). Now, Alexander had seen said Aardvark in his lover’s abode, had found it disgusting, and whazzis? It’s now his very own? What on EARTH is he to do with it, and as texts and emails keep piling up on his phone (He is, after all, a very very important politician!), Alexander is OFF to return it, unaware of his lover’s fate as of yet.
As Alexander is completely and unutterably sociopathic (Even his parents were flummoxed by his lack of empathy as a child), his efforts are replete with speeding to Tampico’s abode, and with trying to use his political standing to get out of moving violations with a cop who is NOT having it: As a matter of fact? Whazzis in this jerk’s car: A stuffed endangered species? Oooops, now Alexander is in for it BIG time, esPECially when the paparazzi gets wind of his upcoming downfall, esPECially when his political rival uses it against him.
And then we go back to Aardvark’s beginning, killed during a scientific expedition, sent back to London to be stuffed, displayed, sold. The taxidermist is delighted with the specimen, but he’s later traumatized to learn of his lover scientist’s suicide. Uhm… he learns this by the scientist’s WIFE…
So we have twinning love stories, with each couple of men constrained by either their era or their political spouting. And what’s with the Aardvark who keeps bouncing around? And HOW on EARTH did it wind up with a set of bulbous blue eyes (Albeit with long and fluttering lashes coyly lidding them)? While we’re asking, whazzis about the Aardvark’s ties to Nazis? Ooooooh, THAT’S gonna look soooo bad for Alexander’s suddenly fraught plummet in the polls!
As things unraveled for each couple, the first time I listened to this, I had no sympathy for either of them. The Victorians were misogynistic, or so it seemed, and Alexander? Well, he was just such a jerk, it was nice to see things hitting the fan and sticking. But the second listen had me more empathetic for men in an unforgiving Victorian period trying to find love during an era where The Closet was the ONLY place to be, and where it wasn’t so much that women were hated by two, but they purely and simply understood men better than the unfathomable ways of women.
There are no Sacred Cows in this cockeyed view of history, this exceeeeedingly cynical view of the current political blight that consumes our country. And author Jessica Anthony wields her wordy prowess with cunning and scathing delight. This can be soooo funny, and you’ll find yourself chuckling even as you’re groaning and your toes are curling. By the way? Alexander’s section is written in the second person point of view, thus putting us in his body as everything horrific and ungodly happens to him/us. It’s a bumpy ride, especially as he doesn’t read much, thereby having no vocabulary to pinpoint what-all hell is breaking loose around him and within him (And considering his Emotional Intelligence is nil? Well, we’re right there with him as he’s soooo confused, even when we see that he’s starting to… what? feeeeel things…?).
I think what saved the day for this story upon second Listen was that I really started to appreciate Matt Amendt’s narration. It’s a trifle halting, with plenty of pauses for: Welllll, THIS just hit the fan, and wellll, THAT followed right after. He does the little asides that ping off in Alexander’s head as he notes where he got various high-priced status symbols, complete with how much he paid for it all, cuz THAT’S what’s important to him, even as the Aardvark Curveballs keep coming. And Amendt makes the Victorian years just godawful to live in as a homosexual man who’s finally found love and contentment—Amendt makes it all so very sad and tragic. So HUZZAH for Amendt for making the second Listen so filled with grins, chuckles, and groans of disappointment.
Not sure how I feel about the ending as it seems like, after all that whizzing and dizzing, author Anthony just kinda threw in the towel and wrapped things up with sentences and plot fragments. A trifle sad, but it was also a time for a smug sense of triumph. Who doesn’t love a grand comeuppance?
And who does NOT love it when an Aardvark gets a Happily Ever After…?!?
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