Austenland: A Novel
Series: Austenland, Book 1
By: Shannon Hale / Narrated By: Katherine Kellgren
Length: 6 hrs and 20 mins
Some >MEH< and some >HUZZAH<
If you know me by now, you know I (Frequently!) hit other review sites to see if I missed anything of truly massive import before writing my reviews. What I got from Austenland? Oh that the movie was soooo much better! So, for me, just sayin’?
What an atrocity!!! Who on criminy’s green earth sees the movie BEFORE reading (Ahem! Listening!) to the story? Have you no shame?!
ApPARently, the movie makes our heroine Jane snarky and spunky, and okay okay okay, there’s little snark here for Narrator Extraordinaire Katherine Kellgren (RIP!!!) to relay to us, and I happen to know that Ms. Kellgren was treMENdous at chucking out snark with the best o’ them.
Here, 30-something Jane hides her Pride and Prejudice DVDs (The Colin Firth version, oh ho hum—I must say NOT m’ Fave version!) amongst potted plants lest people see them displayed, hovering accusingly: This Is WHY I Do NOT Have A Dating Life. But that flick IS why Jane is on the fence in relationships. An elderly aunt finds them stashed away, puts 2 and 2 together, and when she kicks the bucket, she leaves a 3-week vacation to Pembrook Park, the “Austen” theme park of sorts where Women of a Certain Age go to live out their daydreams of All Things Jane Austen. They don empire waist dresses, they’re all muuuuch younger (No, no spinsters here), and they’re held to rigid rules of conduct/etiquette. They are wooed by nobly-born standoffish men, they take walks in the Park, and there’s a Ball set at the ends of their stay where aaaallll that’s been brewing in the 3-week playacting come to heart-pounding fruition.
Jane, somewhat surprised to find she’s no longer 30-something but is indeed a swoon-worthy young thing, is instantly taken by the Mr. Darcy stand-in, and her intellect is challenged, her senses are engaged, her emotions? Welllll, she’s kinda sorta twitchy about the whole thing. Whilst scurrying about on her own, away from the games, she stumbles upon a young guy, a gardener who’s taken a job at the Park to earn some cash. Aaaaahhh, a free moment away, some time where she can just be Jane, not wondering about flirtatious games with actors, but she’s now fully-present and wondering just who she wants to be.
And so we have Jane kinda sorta torn between deepening attraction towards Mr. Darcy AND towards the young solidly-built gardener who ain’t classy, but at least Gosh Darn It, he’s real!
What doesn’t work is that there’s not much truly clever dialogue, but hey! I don’t think author Shannon Hale was even trying to be Austen. And there’s not much snark from Jane. Mostly, she’s kinda a wishy washy chick getting on in years, trying to pick through the tangles of her life, chronicling her history of relationship mishaps, all the romantic miscues, the many heartbreaks and Gee-I-Wish-I-Hadn’t-Done Thats. And really? What female has NOT done that, so I guess that, tho’ those relationships do indeed drone on and on a bit? They’re soooo familiar that, p’raps, they do work after all.
What does work, exceedingly well, is towards the end of the story where Jane starts rediscovering bits and pieces of herself that were stunted or were tucked away entirely. There’s art and how her first forays into painting (As what young Regency lass does NOT paint, sketch, draw?!) are tight and self-conscious but which get freer, more lively, more expressive of who she truly is (And she is coming to rediscover WHO she wanted to be, before Life and Colin Firth took over). Also? Jeez, there are a LOT of twists and turns and revelations at the end that had me thinking: Wow, I’d THOUGHT my increasing forays into Mysteries was getting more vigilant to clues and dropped hints, but man! Whoulda thunk some of THESE doozies?!
So I was delighted by how shocked Hale managed to make me by the end. A mighty Huzzah for that!
Katherine Kellgren? Well, let’s see: First Jane is entirely American and Kellgren manages that without mangling the accent or with making Jane sound like she’s a genteel Southerner, a brash Texan, or a cabbie in the Bronx. THIS, my friend, is NOT something all Brit actors can manage. I do love Kellgren, and I do miss her so. Her narration here is spot-on, her men are appealing, her Austen-character-wannabes are twittery and silly enough without being toooo terribly annoying, and the two men vying for Jane’s attention work wonderfully well as Heroes. Plus, she does a great Bored Guy Smoking A Cigarette Before Going Back To Work As A Regency Hero. The Sometimes Kellgren Screeeeechiness? Nowhere to be found here. Once again? I dooo miss Ms. Kellgren!
I admit it: Contemporary Romance was the Gateway Drug into m’ All Things Regency Desperate Fondness, but it’s not my main drug of choice now. Still, I found m’self greatly entertained by the lightness, the liveliness, the hustle and bustle of being a single woman in a tough and lonely world where Mr. Darcy Rules.
But? Dude! I’ve gotta say: Colin Firth?! Nooooo…!
Matthew MacFayden?!?
Yessssss!!!!! Okay okay okay, so I’ve watched HIS portrayal about 12 times. A gal’s gotta have a Bit O’ Mr. Darcy to keep the days running smoothly…
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