A Sucky Love Story: Overcoming Unhappily Ever After
Written and Narrated By: Brittani Louise Taylor
Length: 7 hrs and 3 mins
Oy Vey—Spoiler Alerts ahead cuz I think I’m gonna save ya some money and some time you’ll never get back…
Ach mein Gott! Here we go.
Brittani Louise Taylor aPPARently is a huge YouTube star, and she proudly tells us just how many followers she has, how many views she has, how very very verrrrry Liked she is. Alas for her, being stuck within the four walls of her house doing YouTube projects doesn’t really get her out there in the dating market, so she downloads (I can’t remember if it’s only one or many) dating app(s) and starts swiping for only the hunkiest of men.
She’s not looking for any just-sex hookups, seeing as she’s saving her virginity for The One for their wedding night, but when she meets Milos, a European doctor whose muscles she canNOT stop drooling over and who’s endless yammering of how rich he is, how much stuff he has, bores her to tears, she kinda throws it all out the door. Sure, she’s not into boasters, but DANG is she into biceps, or what?!? (And by the way: If you’re NOT looking for a hookup, why on God’s green earth do you end every single text message with a Winky Emoji?!?)
Soon, she’s posting how she’s the HOT dude’s girlfriend, and soon she’s getting Comments back such as: Yo, he’s dating me… and… Yo, he’s currently married.
Does that deter her? Nooooo… She weeps, she throws herself around, she cries out that she wishes she were dead. Uhm, unfortunately there’s the whole: She’s now pregnant thing also. This keeps her with him, even tho’ he’s getting unstable, is verbally, emotionally, physically abusive.
Okay, lemme just add the disclaimer here that I GET it and do NOT mean to denigrate women in abusive relationships. The first (Jobless) husband (Junkie/Alcoholic) of mine was abusive as HELL, and I only left, not because of what he was doing but because I didn’t like the person I was turning into. It’s harder than spit to get out of a bad relationship. It’s just that her Go-To is to Change Him rather than to take care of herself. Throughout this whole audiobook, she’s screeching and wailing but rarely is she acting. And to me, it all comes down to how she keeps coming back to how flippin’ HOT he was to her. If she’d had SOME standards, okay. But oy vey, the girl/woman only dated HOT (Caps hers, cuz she’s only a 21st century texting person).
Okay, so things get better by the verrrrrry end of the book when she comes to realize that the guy isn’t just a jerk but is a total sociopath. The thing is, how empowering to women in abusive relationships is it when the person she’s warning us all to be strong and stay away from is going around saying they’re in the Serbian Mafia (And by the way—again—I doooo realize Bosnia was before her time but truly? Her ignorance knows no bounds), they’re millionaires who own property and businesses, they’re diagnosed with cancer (Even as they dash out to play tennis)? I’m fairly certain that most of us aren’t gonna be running into THAT guy any time soon.
Add to that, this woman sounds like she’s 13, not in her 30s. Valley girl? You bet. Talks in Emojis and through LOL and OMG? You bet. So narrating this herself had me soooo rummaging through the junk drawer looking for an ice pick to jam into m’ poor ears.
I’m so sorry, dear Accomplice, for the total spoilers here, but I did wanna save you 7 hours. I mean, you could be picking belly lint instead of listening to this, and that’d be AWEsome in comparison.
The takeaway to Empower Women here?
Don’t be so gosh-danged shallow and have SOME standards…!
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