My War Gone By, I Miss It So
By: Anthony Lloyd / Narrated By: Steven Crossley
Length: 11 hrs and 52 mins
Absolutely brutal and unrelenting—an astonishing listen
That My War Gone By, I Miss It So is true leaves me breathless. It just shows how easy it is for tragedy to become the norm, for chaos to become the natural way the mind works.
Anthony Lloyd is driven by his own conscience to help in Bosnia, as the land becomes war-torn, as violence becomes a way of life. He even solicits help in speaking the language of the land, all in the hopes of doing some good.
The book opens with witnessing the exhumation of bodies from a mass grave, and it never stops from there. And what was once recreational drug use is now the only way to survive. Lloyd must come to terms with his past (an antagonistic relationship with a cruel and self-absorbed father), his present (whether it’s in war-torn countries or back in his homeland), his future (nightmare of nightmares: a world where he’s not in the midst of violence and suffering). The latter is the most frightening to him as he has no idea how to live without being constantly under fire, without the threat of being murdered by a sniper or from shrapnel.
So there are drugs. So there is Chechnya. There’s anything he can do, no matter what, to keep that adrenaline high going.
This is a graphic, graphic book, not for the squeamish and for those ready for one of the roughest rides around. Steven Crossley does a stellar job with narration, doesn’t miss a beat, whether he’s relaying the warmth of loving friends, the horrors of children decapitated.
I could not stop listening. By the end? Yes, I was worn out. But mostly, I just sent out a prayer to Lloyd. He saw much, suffered much. And in the end, he loved most deeply.
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